We Must Sometimes Listen to Our Own Hearts and to God

by Violet Rebecca Jones

                 Sometimes when we listen to others, we make the right decision; other times heeding their advice causes us regrets and pain.  No one can ever know us as well as we know ourselves, or as well as God knows us.  When we listen to the voice of our fellow man, are we listening to those who have our best interests at heart, or are they speaking from  their own motivations, their own agendas?  Do they even have good judgment?  These are things we must ask ourselves.

                I have come to believe that there are only two sources of good advice. One stems from our own conscience, wisdom, knowledge, and common sense. The other is God.  We know ourselves, our inner desires, our hopes, our dreams, and our needs for personal happiness. God knows these things as well, but He also knows our future. We would do well to seek His will for our lives.

                Today I spoke with someone who listened to the advice of another who had ulterior motives, and it has led to pain for so many persons, not just the person who took the advice. They ended up married to someone who was another's choice for them, casting aside their one true love, and now they feel both an obligation and regret.  Their choice caused broken hearts, broken dreams, and unfulfilled promises.  The choice can never be undone, not without hurting more people in the process. So many people will have to live with the consequences of this advice.

                I  also spoke with  a young girl who listened to a father who blamed her for her mother's early death. She did not murder her mother, but her mother's health was poor following this girl's birth, and she simply never recovered. In the father's mind, it was the girl's fault. Although he provided and cared for her needs as a child, she always felt this blame, this rejection.  She craved the love she never received, and of course, sought it elsewhere.  At sixteen she found herself pregnant. Her father would not support her and her out-of-wedlock child, so she moved out on her own and began working in a fast-food restaurant.  She is now older and is working to complete her education so she can provide for herself and her child.  So much pain occurred  because of listening to the voice of others. My heart went out to her, and I wish I could have erased all the pain she suffered because it was not her fault. It is hard for a child to know whom to listen to, and without a mother, she was especially vulnerable.

                Another person I know left a good job because of a fiancé who asked her to move away so they could be married.  The marriage didn't happen, and she is without income in a place without opportunity, and no money to move away and begin again.  She listened to the wrong person.

                In each of these cases, stepping back from the situation and listening to the voice of God would have saved so many tears and heartaches. A quiet place, time alone, reading God's word, and asking for input from many people, rather than just a few,  can give one perspective .  God is the only one who truly knows what is best for us. He is the only one who knows what lies ahead, and He is the only one who will always care about our needs. Sometimes we want things that are not right for us. Sometimes we think we understand a situation when we haven't a clue.  Other times we think we know our friends, and we think they have our best interests at heart when, in truth, they don't. They are motivated by their own needs, wants, desires; sometimes they are just selfish, or even jealous. Sometimes they simply have poor judgment.

                I am not immune to following the wrong advice. In fact, I am probably  the worst cases scenario of one who has listened to the wrong people. It has taken me a lifetime to understand that others do not always have my best interests at heart. I have honestly always been one to want others to be happy, and it is hard for me acknowledge that others are not always this way.  That is one of my greatest weaknesses, but it is hard to not always look at one's fellowman, or woman, with trust .  I want the world to be good, kind, and filled with altruism, but the sad fact is that it isn't.   

Copyright 2014 Violet Rebecca Jones